Umm... what?!?

"Would you like my handcuffs?"

"Stephen King has a wife... named Stephanie Queen."

"And if you're feeling down... just whip your hair back and forth."

"I asked three posters, and they were all wrong."

"Also, that's a great way to get arrested."

"Mrs. Johnson, what's your take on aliens?"

"You could use this to stab someone."

"My answer was, 'I take it like a man.' I hope that's okay."

"Every time I think of creative writing, I think of an Indian jumping out of the ground saying, 'I want corn!' "

"Curse your long legs!"

me, responding to a question asked by girl 1: "I won't tell you why, but trust me- it's in your best interests to only write on your study guide."

girl 2: "wink wink."

girl 1: "OHH. nudge nudge. "

boy 1: "bathroom bathroom."