I don't know how we get any work done...

Seriously.

girl to boy: "I make you... whatever those guys who wear the funny jingly hats are."

boy to me: "Mrs. Johnson, you don't have to get feisty."

"CATCH THE PIGGY!"

"I have your piggy. On my head."

"But Pocahontas is a DISNEY movie. Of course they wouldn't put that she was his wife at twelve; it would ruin her rep."

"Are you making her Princess Bunyon?"

"I don't know! I'm not a professional color-lister!"

"This is really old skin though, so it doesn't matter."

me: "What's going on? Are you okay?"

boy: "I don't know, it's just a zombie walk or something."

"My pockets are the void into time and space."

"I don't want to perform surgery on the couch. One, I don't know how. Two, it's yucky down there."

"Well, I pretty much believe whatever people tell me."

boy to me: "Mrs. J, (he) is putting erasers in the end of his pen and shooting them at (him)."

me: *sigh*

boy: "Mrs. J, do you need a hug?"

"Mrs. Johnson, my friend's birthday is the day of Patrick Swayze's death. Also, I don't even know who that is."

"I hope you didn't blow your nose on that."

"Her hair is as red as a fire hydrant. A red one- I've seen some yellow ones, but I don't mean those. Red as a red fire hydrant."