You what?

"I ran into a fire hydrant."




"What is there to help with? Yes, I know- I can help turn oxygen into Carbon Dioxide."




"Common sense... it's a curse because you have to deal with people that don't have it."




boy 1: "Ugggh! My bag hurts."
boy 2: "Well, you're getting old."




boy 1 to boy 2: "So, I heard you broke three lights in your bathroom by whipping your towel around trying to kill a fly."
bo 3: "I killed a bee with a foryk once."




(pointing to a pic of an N64 on his shirt) "If she doesn't know what that is, she's too young for you bro."




me: "You're always rough-housing."
boy: "nuh-uh, I'm rough apartmenting."




"Open your book, for Peeta's sake!"




me: "Work!"
boy: "I already have three rivers labeled."
me: "Great. Keep going."
boy: "Spoiler Alert: No I don't."