End of the year...

"Even I'm smart in real life. It's not that hard. You just have to not be stupid."



"Did you see that? It's a karate dog!"



Girl: "What is that?"
Me: "Pad Thai."
Girl: "Sweet. Is it Italian?"



Boy 1: "Dude. Why do you guys keep your boxes?"
Boy 2: "Because boxes are where you keep your boxers!"



"You're making ME look smart... and that's bad."



Boy: "Is a veil a dress?"
Girl: "It's a dress for your FACE!"



me: "... so this needs to be done by the end of class. Any questions?"
(long pause)
Boy: "If you could, would you ride on the USS Enterprise?"

ah, the end of the year...

"I didn't think I could suck blood out of my tongue."



"Sometimes I chew on my snake's tail. It's a passion of mine."



"Did you hurt yourself? Try doing that to your TONGUE."



"Snake pieces, sorry."



"We. are. NINJA-TASTIC!"



boy: "Fra-gee-lay... what does that mean?"
(looong pause)
girl: "Are you serious?"



"Does anyone want some moss?"

A backlog- sorry!

Hey all! Sorry it's been a while- I had a bunch written down that I lost (arg!), so I was looking for them... but in the meantime, these happened!




"I'm going to give birth to you so I can marry you at a later date."



"I can't believe it's going to be that much money. I don't have $75 million!"



"Is yourself a jerk?"



"Wouldn't that be a negative 0?"



"That sounded like a Grolar bear sneeze."



"The service here (in the classroom) is unsatisfactory. I'm taking my business elsewhere."



"My brother is just... a rascal."



"Are you going to leave us? Like Nanny McPhee?"



"When I was in 5th grade, I was already of a higher intellect of comedy."



"I don't think little kids can actually comprehend how funny Spongebob is."



(Homework answer) "How David and Solomon are related: Both had wife issues."

This week...

"I declare today National Chicken Day."

"It's legal in Connecticut."

"If I was an Egyptian... I'd have an AK47."

"I have an overhead disease."

"Easy peasy lemon juicy. Pumpkin juice. Pumpkin pie. Right? Pumpkin Pie?"

"If you do something mean, I will disconnect, and not talk to you and not respond to your texts."

"I'd like to donate my body to the cannibals in Peru."

"My brother's a midget. Raised by humans."

"Australia is located in British."

"I've been tickled too many times by these hands."