Spring Break Countdown...

"I HAVE ROUND CHEEEEEESE!"

"Everyone hide! Please don't explode."

"I think I'm a ninja."

"MMMM, warm Fritos taste!"

boy 1 to boy 2: "You opened that fruit cup like a boss."

boy 2: "I can't do anything like a boss."

"Mrs. Johnson! Banana Zone!"

"I like to squish things. Preferably artificial cheese."

"What is the meaning of this? It's REAL cheese?!?"

"I get colds from history."

"Why would you use a dictionary to do something stupid, like improve your grade?"

How does that work, exactly?

"I'm in love with a teenage pineapple!"

boy: "Okay, Okay- Everyone at this table. What's your opinion of My Little Ponies?"

girl: "Tom Sawyer? Doesn't he get eaten by a whale?"

(long pause)

boy: "Um... that's Pinnochio."

girl to boy 1:"You... buried your Hunger Games book in DIRTY LAUNDRY? Who DOES THAT?!?"

boy 2: "I would teach that person a LESSON."

TOO MUCH SUGAR

boy: "I want to be an ox."

girl: "Why?"

boy: "Because then I could kill people. With my head."

"It's Valentine's Day! You're not supposed to be mean, you jerk!"

"Bart sounds like an offensive name."

me: "Winner, winner, chicken dinner!"

boy: "Loser, loser... something that sounds like oozer."

(discussion ensues)

boy: "YES! Loser, loser... chicken bruiser?"

"I don't believe in unicorns... but I do believe in uni-bears."

Never heard that one before...

"Usually, when I hiccup, I'll end up burping at the end."

"You shocked my NOSE! With your ELBOW!"

(movie on in class): "You could've gotten stabbed by a swordfish!"

boy: "Um... they're not actually swords."

"Do you wanna go pet some mooses?"

(into a fake walkie talkie) "Let's go get a dinosaur. Copy that."

"Technically, when you're bowling, all the lanes go the same direction."

"TURRRRRN! Randomrandomtuuuuuuurn!"

"My name is __________ and I have a pet chair."

"You DON'T throw artificial ham!"

You're absolutely correct.

"There's nothing shameful about having a 'stache."

"It's rude to talk while I'm interrupting!

"I have an accusation to make. Colonel Mustard got Mrs. Plum with a candlestick."

me: "Does anyone have any questions?"

boy: "No, I get it! It's like on Sesame Street..."

boy to girl: "I don't think giving birth and rejoicing has anything to do with good friends. Are you reading the right verse?"

girl: "Um... oh! I'm a chapter off!"

boy: "Yeah, cuz right now, that's what a BAD friend would do."

"For a second there, I thought you said, 'Don't make friends with a hot tub!' "

um... ok?

"Oh no! I killed a man with this thumb."

"Ninja chapstick dinosaurs!"

"NO! We should have cool names, like Charlie, and Tim!"

"Well, it really depends on how long your arm hair is."

He must be awfully hungry...

"Birds aren't retarded. They are very smart. They regurgitate their food and they feed it to my dad."

"Aw, man! I guess we don't make good gang members."

boy: "What makes a gang member?"

girl: "Weird hats."

"Did I just poke myself in the eye with my own finger?"

"You look like a giant coat monster!"

(I shut a door a little too hard in between two classrooms.)

In the next door classroom, boy 1: "Mrs. Johnson ANGRY."

boy 2: "J-dog SMASH."

"Mrs. Johnson, is the zombie apocalypse an actual thing?"