The finale... for now.

"That's alien-racist."
(talking about space aliens, not immigrants, btw.)




boy 1 to boy 2: "I like looking at your upper body."




"I will flip a nostril's clown if I break something."




"I'll burn you so hard you'll be medium rare."




"I've licked it before."




"I'm going to punch you in the hair."




"(He) left his pants outside."




(5 days later)
"(He left his pants outside again."




"Your ears must really like you."




"Why does that cat look like it's just seen an elephant have an aneurysm?"




"It smelled like a dried up baby."




"You're as red as a potato."

And some more... this is me catching up.

"Mrs. J, I kind of made your baby look like a giraffe."
(For the record, I don't have a baby. It was an art project.)




boy 1 to boy 2: "AHHH! You got it in my EAR!"
boy 3: "Ha! An earful of Sprite."




"But-but-but- I don't wear any pants!"




"What's my first name?"




(over the din, I hear this)
boy 1 to girl 1: "You're pooping?!?"
girl 1: "NO!"
boy 1: "Then WHAT?!?"
(everyone has turned to look by now, room is silent.)
me: "Um... please explain."
girl 1: "I said, if you're an American before you go to the bathroom, and an American after you go to the bathroom, what are you while you're going to the bathroom?"
(everyone is silent)
girl 1: "Eur-o-pean!"

Still catching up...

Apologies- internet was out for like 4 days during spring break. Here are a few more.


boy to class: "Which one of you successful men would like to read the next verse?"




(students have been arguing about whether or not to leave door open. Most are whining that it's too cold, so this boy shouts...) "I am SO HOT with my MAN HEAT!"




"OH MY GOSH, he went to TAKE A PEE! GET OVER IT!"




"Boy, when good people screw up, they screw up BIG TIME."




"I love scissors! They... cut things."




(reading aloud) "Taft headed the Consecutive Branch."




boy 1 to boy 2: "Oh, you wanna be creepy? Two can play at that game!"




boy 1: "Yay, we're homesteaders! We get pitchforks!"
boy 2: "And torches! We're the original angry mob!"




"Uggghhh. It smells like... pretzels... and boys."




"If we're stuck HERE, how will we help Siberian tigers in Africa or something?"




"You stupid piece of cheese!"

Spring break, day 1

The first official day of spring break :)

"The toilet has an attitude!"




"We're gonna party like it's potatoes!"




"I'm Winni-er than Pooh Bear!"




(boy 1 to group): "Ducks vs. Beavers?"
(boy 2 in group to boy 1): "Nobody cares- we're looking at puppies!"




"Usher is like, yeah, I'm going to share my name with someone that brings popcorn to people."

Spring Break Officially

It's REALLY spring break now- 10 days! Hopefully I'll be updating my other blog too, but otherwise- reading and crocheting. That is ALL. It will be lovely.

Now for a few more quotes- yay!


Boy 1 to boy 2: "Ooooh, my hair is softer than yours."




"My lassoing days are over."





"At least I WEAR CLOTHES!"




"He's like a kid version of Hitler."




"Yes, Ferris Wheel Jesus."




"Act like a cow, Mrs. Johnson is coming!"




"I'm going to rage on you like a tiny dinosaur!"




(5th grade classwork has students finding better words than "happy, sad, good", etc- I'm reading possible answers.)
Boy: "Can I use pulchritudinous?"
(next answer)
boy: "Is dysphoric okay?"
(next answer)
boy: "This one's not as good- just unsullied."

Spring Break started 7 hours ago...

I'm devoting myself to FINALLY catching up on TMMSS during the break- I have a giant stack of post-its. These have accumulated since my last post, but they're in no particular order.

boy: "Oh, look, a baby clown! DIE, BABY CLOWN!"




boy: "I just had to stick my face in its face."




"There's the fridge-warm it up!"




"Sadly enough, my really long knuckle hair fell off."
(conversation ensues)
""Well, it's not every day you have a world record knuckle hair."




"A cute big sister with a POWER DRILL!"




"I have something awkward in my pocket."




"You ruptured my nuptials."




"Not so aggressively! I have sensitive hands!"


More (hopefully) tomorrow- updates should come through the week. Enjoy!

Election Day...

These are from today, during our election activities.

"Is this guy a 3rd party candidate? His name is... Clint Eastwood."




"How many (electoral votes) does Mexico get?"




"Obama... as far as abortion goes... he's for it."




boy, to me: "Taylor Swift's new album is pretty legit."




(looking at a picture of Obama) "Is there a campaign for this guy, or what? He's everywhere!"




me to class: "Why can't George Bush Sr. run again?"
boy: "He's dead!"




me to class: "What about LaMarcus Aldrige- could he be elected?"
boy: "Well, I was looking at his tweets.." (I didn't hear the rest of what he said. I was laughing too hard.)




boy 1 to boy 2: "We're going to leave you here."
boy 1 to boy 3: "Come on, let's go to the Corner of Knowledge."




"Is that... Harriet Tubman? Oh no- it's Dora the Explorer."




"I found owl poop in my mom's purse once."




boy 1: "What's wrong with Mrs. G?"
boy 2: "Her eyes are closed- she must be praying."
(ps- no, she was laughing so hard she was crying.)




"I actually have a turban."




"She's Mexican so she probably boxes in her garage."




"Romney probably has a binder full of men too."




"That sounds like an annoying cat dying moose llama thing."




"I have another poop story. It's about my brother. As a toddler. On an airplane."




"Pause the TV and kiss on her!"




(during presentation) "The confederate voters in Virginia..."





The following are NOT from today- these have been accumulating for a while.

"I would probably be a frisky kitty cat."




"Oh, yuck! This can't be healthy."




"Razor scooters, Nazi edition."




"I found another fingernail."




(phone buzzes)
boy 1: "Is someone playing a saxophone?"
boy 2: "Yeah... I have a pocket saxophone."




girl to boy: "Here's your pencil."
boy to pencil: "Hey there! Long time no see, little buddy!"




"It is overwhelmingly beautiful. Just like my Cheez-its."




"I liked him... because he had a beard. He was like Santa Claus in my mind."




"My soul has eyebrows."




"My dad got a sunflower seed stuck in his ear once."