really?

"It's more anticlimactic than Mr. Rogers, and all his friends are IMAGINARY!"








"I misheard myself."








"I know, but I ate two of them off the ground..."








"That was like a dying chihuahua."

How can you tell?

"My hump is bigger than yours."








"That's a foot-stompin', hand-clappin' harmony."








"I prefer boys because you don't have to talk to them."








"You're a jerk. I'm cancelling our Draw Something game."








"Goodbye, Compromise of 1833. I've never liked you."








"This would be a great time to be friends with a rapper."








"Oh, they're gonna be so jealous! Let's walk all cool- in slow motion!"








boy 1: "Let me just go hunting..."
boy 2: "Like I do. With dinosaurs."
me: (eyeroll)
boy 2: "It's true. They never see it coming."








"You should go to Africa and learn their ways of storytelling. I hear they're pretty good at it."








"OOOH, right in the childhood!"








"If there are injuries, are there also out-juries?"

That could be a problem...

"There's a war between humans and inanimate objects going on!"








"But you can hurt his gentle man-feelings."








"I don't want to die in any way that involves my neck."








"Can you open the door so I can shake it?"






"Do you know how to make armpit fudge?"








"Shame on you, me, you, me, you, me, US!"








"Will you be a dear and go hunt a moose?"








boy 1, to me: "They were roughhousing."
boy 2: "And rough mansion-ing."
(I look at him, quizzically.)
boy 2: "Rough condo-ing."
          " Rough Misselthwaite Manor-ing."
          "Rough yurtz-ing."
          "Rough apartment-ing."
girl 1:  "Oh! Rough tent-ing."
boy 2: "Rough coral reef-ing."
girl 1:  "Rough cave-ing."
boy 2: "Rough motor-homing."

Too much information...

Homework vocab answers:
"My brother quickly depleted his deodorant because he thinks girls love Old Spice."
"My brother seared his pants when he held a lighter up to his bum and let out a fart."








And, normal quotes...
"I have pianos in my body. They're next to my organs." (hahaha!)








"I did NOT put a calculator in my pants, thank you very much!"








"Did you say you are buying a chimpanzee?"








"Someone just ripped the other person's face off!"








boy, to me: "I hate puberty."
(I look up, eyebrow cocked)
"A zit. I scratched it."








girl, to me:"We're playing the Hunger Games, running around and poking each other with thumbs."
boy, to me: "I committed Japanese. The honorable death thing."








boy to girl: "You stopped thumb-twiddling and I won!"

Wouldn't dream of it...

boy 1 to girl 1: "You're not my mom, so don't dress me!"








"Ew, it's a scorpion! Oh wait... that's a lobster."








"What's that (quote) from? A Racecar Name Desire?"








"I have very sensitive cubicles."








"They're having a moonwalk battle."








"I'm having a hard time because Pennsylvania is so large. I'm like, 'What are you, China?' "








"Green Yoda is, yes."








"Yoda talk like me, I."








"(Boy's name) talk Yoda... not. will."









"Did you know there's a Mrs. Yoda?"








"What is he, a special gecko with a tricked out cave?"

oh... burn!

"Would you like some ice for that third-degree BURN?"








"Now that's COLONIAL swag."








"That amendment says no quartering of troopers."








(This one comes from a future middle-schooler- another class was using my room for presentations, and I got to witness this...)
boy 1: "(Jefferson Davis) was a little like me in his childhood."
boy 2: "How?"
boy 1:  "Except I didn't work on a cotton plantation."
teacher: "Then how?"
boy 1: "Well, I might be president someday."
(long pause)
girl 1: "How did (Jefferson Davis's) wife die?"
boy 1: "I don't know- maybe she wasn't taking care of herself."








"I veto chihuahuas! They shiver and it's weird."








"You smell like... Albertson's."

oh, really?

"Look at my tongue! My tongue is awesome!"

"Stubby Thriller arms!"

"We should have muzzles..."

"Hey guys, let's switch personalities!"

Boy1 about boy 2, to me: "Mrs J, (he) is self conscious because he's going through puberty."

me: "You're ALL going through puberty."

boy 1: "Yeah, but he's going through puberty on his face."

"You could dye your head bald!"